Things My Students Say

I present, for your reading pleasure, a selected list of things my students have said to me. Some of the original quotes were in Spanish, and I have translated them into English except where I obviously couldn’t.

(while showing me pictures on his cellphone) “This is my wife, and this is my girlfriend”

Me: What happens in Colombia on Valentine’s Day?

Student: Motels. Full.

Student: Teacher, how do you say “chupetón” in English?

Me: Hickey

Entire class: !MIRA, TEACHER, EL TIENE UN HICKEY!

(as I am cleaning my glasses) “Teacher, you look beautiful with no glasses. Glasses on, ehhh.”

Class: Teacher, does your boyfriend know how to dance?

Student: No boyfriend, friend with benefits.

Class: TEACHER, WHAT ARE THE BENEFITS?

“Teacher, teach me how to Dougie. Please.”

“Teacher, you smell like Victoria’s Secret coco-vanilla. Yes?” (no)

“In Boston, you don’t celebrate Christmas, do you? It’s too cold.”

“Teacher, you are very red.”

“The Caspian Sea isn’t a sea. Caspian is the prince of Narnia.”

Me: What are you going to name your restaurant?

Student: ALF’s Delicious.

(as I am eating an empanada) “Teacher, that will make you fat.”

In my classes, we play a lot of games, and I always have the teams come up with team names. Here is a selected list of some team names:

Big Heads

Lakers

Sheilaghman

Bananas in Pajamas

Cash Money

Sparkle Ponies

Pachamama Mopan

Perseus

Group Dead

Ratatouille Tigers

And finally, here is a bonus conversation that wasn’t with a student, but was with a Colombian during my very first weekend in Cali:

(in the car, stopped at a traffic light, I spot a man selling some interesting merchandise from car to car)

Me: Whoa, is that guy selling porn?

Colombian: What? Why would he be selling corn?

Me: No, not corn. Porn.

Colombian: Oh. Yes, of course.

But CORN, yeah, that would be crazy
But CORN, yeah, that would be crazy
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